Lessons Learned

Introduction

We are not writers, geniuses or psychologists. We are not Solomon or the richest people who ever lived. However, we have had some experiences that may help you, and wanted to share our insights. We achieved things we never dreamed of. You can too! What we have written here are the key tenets of our success, They are the only way to succeed. You need to find your own road to success, but hopefully this helps you consider some key characteristics to consider.

If you don’t get anything else out of this text, we encourage you to charge into the storms of your life. Don’t run from them. Don’t make excuses for them. Don’t be envious of others who don’t have to face the storm. Whatever the storms are in your life charge them with a determination to endure, and you will find, like the Bison, that you will minimize the damage from your storm, and endure the storms in your life more successfully. Along the way, you will build strength and the self confidence to endure anything that life brings you.

Attitude > Aptitude

Most Overachievers have an attitude that drives all they do.

They overachieve in most things because they are driven to succeed, learn from their mistakes (and they make them) and people like them.

It has been written that people with a can-do positive attitude survive terrible diseases better than those who consider themselves in unfortunate victim. I believe the same thing happens in our work. People who are resilient, look at the bright side, and attack every challenge with a positive attitude succeed much more than those who always look for someone to blame. Additionally, people with a positive attitude are generally more likable, and get along more with people at work. This also contributes to them being more successful.

Most people who have experienced a Cancer diagnosis know one of the most important essentials of a Cancer recovery is a positive “I will survive” attitude. Regardless what you think of Lance Armstrong’s athletic career, no one can doubt he is a Cancer survivor. In his book “It’s not about the bike” he describes his attitude in attacking his Cancer diagnosis. He was positive and determined. My own oncologist advised me of the importance of a positive attitude when I went through my own treatment and recovery. It makes sense that this approach to life yields better outcomes.

So in the end our attitude is up to us. You can choose to be a victor, or you can choose to be a victim. If you have a negative attitude and believe something bad is going to happen, it likely will. On the other hand if you have a positive attitude and believe good things will happen you’d be surprised how often they actually do.

We all have bad days where we are less motivated, don’t feel great, or are overwhelmed by our challenges. When these bad days invariably occur, I encourage you to consider all the good things in your life. If you feeling sorry for yourself, go visit the cancer clinic, a Children’s Hospital or an old folks home. This experience will make you realize how fortunate you are, and hopefully help you get your attitude where it needs to be.

Be grateful, be kind, and give back to others. If you do, it will make it a lot easier for you to endure life’s challenges. Charge into the storm rather than waiting for the storm to impact you. You will be more successful and in the process develop a lot of self-confidence that you can endure anything.

be a victor not a victim

"People with the victim’s complex will always be a victim”. We know people who no matter what happens to them they are always a “victim”. We also know people who are unbelievably resilient and despite setbacks have a positive can-do attitude. The people with positive attitudes are consistently victors while those with negative attitudes are always victims.

We believe attitude is critical to your short and long-term success. We believe people with a “victor’s” attitude far exceed the results of people with a “victims” attitude.

If you always think you’re a victim, you will be surprised how often you have a bad boss, a bad job, or bad breaks. There is always a reason to blame others when bad things happen. It’s always easy to find someone to blame when things go wrong and it is much harder to look in the mirror and recognize how we may have inadvertently positioned ourselves for failure. There is a saying that “those who do not learn from history are destined to repeat it”. We have seen this over and over again among those that are always victims. They seem to never learn from their mistakes and make them over and over again.

We all have bad days where we are less motivated, don’t feel great, or are overwhelmed by our challenges. When these bad days invariably occur, We encourage you to consider all the good things in your life. If you feeling sorry for yourself, go visit the cancer clinic, a Children’s Hospital or an old folks home. This experience will make you realize how fortunate you are, and hopefully help you get your attitude where it needs to be.

Why the Bison?

Did you know that the American Bison has some very unique characteristics. This is why we try hard to “be like a Bison”.

First, let’s consider what Bison are not. They are not the smartest animal. They are not the fastest or most elusive (which is why they were nearly hunted to extinction in the U.S.), or the most attractive.

However, they have some surprising characteristics that many people do not know. Bison can jump 6 feet off the ground despite their large size. They can even jump over a typical barrier fence. They also have a characteristic no other known animal has that we embrace. Bison face a storm!. Some say they charge a storm. Most other animal hide or turn away from an approaching storm. Not the Bison. Bison will head into a storm head on. It is thought they do so because it allows them to pass through a storm more quickly. Their cousin, the Cow, by contrast, turns away from a incoming storm. They cower and circle together to brace for the storm. The Bison take it head on. We have all seen Bison with heads covered with snow. Now we know one reason why.

We ask you to consider where you are mentally and what you believe. While we advise you on some tips to succeed (and this text is full of them), your attitude and approach is fundamental. Are you a Bison, a Cow, or something in-between? We all have storms in our lives. We all have things we must endure that are not fair and not deserved. Do you take these challenges head on, or cower and brace for them?

We hypothesize the if we take our life’s challenges head on, like the Bison, we will traverse the storm more quickly and with less impact. This approach has worked for us.

We recently spent a lot of time setting up training academies for marginalized people to gain the skills to succeed and secure meaningful jobs. This has been transformational to many. The most successful of our students, have been those that “charge the storm”. They have positive can-do attitudes and a determination to succeed. Their attitude far exceeds their aptitude. I believe they embrace the notion of charging their own storms.

You will see in this text, this is our overriding approach to life’s challenges. we all have had a few, but we navigated them as well as one could hope and came out the other side successfully.

We hope this text helps you navigate your own storms. If you remember nothing else from this text, aim to be like a Bison!

A Crappy job may in fact be better than a great job:

One of our lessons learned can be summarized by "A crappy job in a great company is better than a great job in a crappy company".

We have had some great jobs and not so great companies, and have had less great jobs in better companies. We have found the companies long-term success is extremely important to your own personal success.

If you work for a great company, you are more likely to grow, be challenged, develop, and be rewarded over time. When companies grow and expand over time they provide new opportunities for their employees. When companies grow, employees get bigger pay increases, more budget for their staff, bigger bonuses, etc.. Growing successful companies also attract better talent. If you want to work for a great boss who is very talented and properly rewards you for your work, you’re much more likely to have that kind of boss in a successful growing company. Often times the first people to leave a less successful company are the best people. Typically the best people have more insight and can “see over the horizon”. They see approaching storms before others do and often times get out before the storm hits.

On the other hand, if you have a great job in a company that’s not doing well you may get a smaller bonus, smaller pay increase and work in a much more restrictive and stressful environment even if you are a high performer. Typically, less successful companies have more less successful people. We have found in our experience marginal bosses in marginal companies and great bosses in great companies.

We found it more challenging, rewarding and we have developed more when we were a good student in a classroom of great students than when we were the only bright star in the class. When you are the only "star of the show" you do not grow as much. On the other hand, when you are surrounded by great people who work hard it requires you to "up your game" to keep up and succeed (if you are drive to do so). You will ineventably find more great people in great companies than in weak companies. If you surround yourself with great people, you will increase your greatness also.

Great companies often have great people:

We were blessed to work for companies who were great at times. Other times, they were not so great. We found we had the greatest success when we had great people. We also found that we developed the most, learned the most when we waere surrounded by great successful people.

Great successful people are often smart, and work hard. Their success was no accident. They worked hard to achieve it and had insights others did not seem to have.

Really smart, successful people seem to be able to “see over the horizon”. They see success where others do not, and see approaching problems first.

Our advice is to work with great people who are also successful. You will learn the most from them and grow the most. If your organization had great people who have great success learn as much from them as you can and be optimistic your team will succeed ahead. On the other hand, if you see really smart successful people leaving your company, beware. They may see something you do not.

Your future:

We encourage you to consider your long-term success, rather than short-term gains. We have seen many people over the years leave a given organization because they got a short-term better opportunity somewhere else (more pay, better responsibility, title, etc.). in our experience In the long run employees who “work their way up” succeed beyond those who “job hop”. That being said, you should not stay at a company if it does not provide you the right kind of long-term growth opportunity. We encourage young people to consider the long-term potential, versus short-term gain.

How to Succeed

As we’ve had some success, we’ve been asked “what are the keys to your success”and "how do I succced in my careeer"? We believe the simplest way to think of this is simply work hard, outsmart other people while getting along with them. All three are vitally important.

There are other characteristics that are also important, like humility (which is discussed in a later lesson). There are also many books that have been written about how to succeed in your career, in your life, in your relationships, etc. What has worked for us is to simply work hard, be smart, and get along with people.

We all know people who are supersmart, but nobody likes them. These people are rarely successful even in roles where intelligence is the most important thing. We also know people who work really hard but are marginally successful. Everyone knows someone who is the “life of the party” or the most popular. Popularity alone has limited success. Eventually you have to produce something successful to be a success.

Work Hard:

Working hard is important. We all know people who have been wildly successful by simply being the first to work for the last to leave. Many athletes credit their determination and work ethic for their success. They watch film based study strategy they are “gym rats” and consider this a major factor in their success. There is no replacements for hard work. We encourage you to look around and compare yourself to others around you. Are you the first one to get to work in the morning, the last one to arrive, or do what everyone else does? To be an overachiever and have overachieving success requires hard work. We also hear about people who are perceived to have had an easy way to their success. We do not know of a single person in work, in sports, or any other venue who achieved great success without hard work. If you talk to very successful people, most of them will credit their hard work for their success. A strong work ethic is a critical factor. We also learned how to have a strong work ethic from working. We do not know of any shortcuts here. If your boss asks you to be at work at 8 AM, we encourage you to show up at 745. If they want you to bring them a cup of coffee, bring them two.

Be Smart:

We’ve all heard the term work smart, but what does this mean? What has worked for us is to do two things in this regard. 1. Think about what you’re doing and be smart about it. 2. Try not to ever make the same mistake twice.

Being smart about what you do may require you to research what you’re doing, or observe others who have been very successful doing the same thing. Learn from others and learn as much as you can about the subject matter.

We all make mistakes. The issue is not can never make a mistake but you always learn from the mistakes we make. We do so by being self-reflective and humble. When you work on something consider how it worked out. Did you achieve the goals you set out for? Did you fail? Either way does not matter as much as the fact that you learn from either what worked, or what did not work. If what you did worked recognize what you did to be successful and continue doing it. If what you did not work out as well as you hoped, analyze why it did not work and vow to not repeat it.

Get Along with People:

Relationships are complicated, and we have several lessons in this text about them. To simplify work relationships get along with people. This means having people you know, and like who will advocate for you and give you credit when you’re successful This may mean being kind to you when your least successful. We all know a really successful person who people would bend over backwards to help him because he or she helped them. Recognize many people may look at you from the perspective of what can you do for them. Building relationships sometimes involves not only being friendly, going to lunch with someone, or just being thoughtful; but also may involve treating them as you would like to be treated or helping them when they need help. We find when you help people who need help they appreciated and are more likely to be one of your supporters. This characteristic alone won’t drive your success but it will definitely help. Recognize there are conversations and meetings that you are not privy to in which people either support you, or neutral about you, or undermine you. We encourage you to have a goal of having every one of those conversations go in your favor. If they do you will have more success. If they do not you will have less success.

Other lessons learned

There are a number of other lessons we have learned that are important to consider.

If they ask you to bring them coffee, bring them two.

While this sounds simple but is a good rule to consider in your work life. Always strive to overachieve and respect your boss, the company, and your customer. They may not always be right, but they deserve a level of respect. Treat them so.

Live beneath your means and you will never go without
This is a very important characteristic of financially successful people. Whatever your income is, spend less that it. Put some money away every day and you will find when you need money for an important life event you will have more than you need. One way to live beneath your means is to have clear knowledge of your means. You can do so by being tenacious about managing your expenses and knowing what they are.

if the smartest, most talented people in your company leave, follow them
Great companies are made of great people. Great people have the ability to see upside opportunities and downside challenges before others do. If you work with and for smart motivated, and successful people, they will contribute to make the organization great and often "see over the horizon". If they leave, they may see something you do not. Embrace great people: learn as much as you can from them and emulate them.

Play chess not checkers
It is said that world-class chess players think several moves ahead. On the other hand people who play checkers are typically considering their next move only. We also see this to be true in our professional and personal lives as well. The smartest people seem to be anticipating what happens next rather than simply reacting to it. We encourage you to be strategic about what you do and why you do it. Doing so requires thinking not only about your next action, but the reply to your action and your corresponding response.

Always give others a second chance, but never a third
This is a great rule of thumb for relationships. We encourage you to always give people the benefit of the doubt and give them a second chance if you perceive they “wrong you”. If they wrong you a second time it may be a trend, and we encourage you not to let yourself be a victim a third time.

The pay is poor, but the rewards are great
The most rewarding work you will ever do will likely be the least financially rewarding. Consider what you want to achieve in your life and do it now. find a non-profit, community group or religious organization and volunteer to help them. they need people with your skills, you will feel great about your contribution and these experiences enrich your life. There is a saying that “To much has been given, much is expected”. This is great advice to follow in your life.

Have a life plan: and make sure your career plan fits your life plan and not the other way around.
We have seen a lot of successful professional people who seem to have most of their self-esteem tied to their job. They may have successful career, but often they have a less successful life. We encourage you to consider what you want to accomplish in your life as your ultimate goal and view your career path is a key part of this plan, but is not the whole plan.

You have a personal brand, manage it consciously

Many do not fully understand or are attentive to their personal brand. We all have one and people conclude things about you from their interactions with you. If they are good, it affects your reputation (or brand). If they are not good, the other person may draw unfair conclusions about you. We encourage you to be super-conscious of your reputation or brand and manage it. When you interact with someone important recognize they may be drawing a conclusion about you from the interaction. Some conclusions people will make about you include:

How knowledgeabel you are?
Are you organized?
Do you get things done on time and with the right quality?
Are you reliable?
Do you have a good work ethic?

Your responsiveness to messages affects your personal brand

Your responsiveness to email, voicemail, calls and text sends an inadvertent message about your work ethic and organizational skills. If someone calls you and you do not reply in a timely manner, or your voicemail box is full, they may erroneously conclude you do not have a good work ethic or have good organizational skills. Many of us are admittedly from an earlier generation but many from our generation may be your boss.

We recommend the following guidelines for you to follow regarding responsiveness:

Email: strive to reply to all by the end of the next business day after the email is received. We find it helpful to review emails daily, prioritize them for follow up (Outlook “categories” work well).
Missed calls: check for missed calls daily on your cell phone
Voicemail: check your cell phone voicemail at least twice a week. Never allow it to fill up so that someone trying to reach you hears “the voicemail box is full” messages. Make sure your voicemail message is professional.
Text: Respond to texts daily if possible. Use emojis to shorten replies. Avoid long voice to text messages.

Treat a virtual meeting like a live in-person meeting

We all meet many times virtually. How you "show up" for these meetings speaks volumes about your and your "brand". Here are some helpful tips:

Always be on time for virtual meetings.
Ensure you have reliable internet service (we all have times the internet drops, but try to ensure this is minimized).
Ensure you have a professional office background for your meetings (a professional live background is better than a virtual background, but a virtual background is better than a messy live background). If you have a live background for your meetings, make sure it is not messy (laundry basket, pets and collateral, boxes, etc.) as looking as it may be the only thing people in your meeting look at.
Minimize family and other distractions. Be careful not to have a young child or pet show up on camera as it gives the impression that you are not really working, but babysitting while you work a little bit.
Show up like a live meeting. Do not show up with your gardening clothes or workout clothes, or with an unprofessional appearance (no makeup or unshaven) as it gives the impression you are not really serious about your work.

Do what you say and Say what you do

In the Bible, Jesus is quoted as saying “may your yes mean yes and your no mean no” . these are great words to live by.

Always live up to your commitments. Be sure you can meet any commitment you make and ensure you never fall short as it affects your brand and reputation. You want to be know as someone who always delivers.

Negotiate your commitment such that you can meet them. Don’t let others impose a deadline for you that you cannot meet as they will ultimately hold you accountable to it.

Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear

This is a great suggestion for how to conduct yourself in work and family relationships as it regards gossiping. Here are a few helpful tips about informal communication. Much of what people tell you may be “spun” to fit their purpose.

When you talk to someone at work, you are taliing to your company. Don’t lose sight of this and realize anything you say may be used by another person to advance themselves and may not be to your benefit.
Be careful not to put yourselft in a position to have informal conversations you may later regret. sometimes people meet after work informally for drinks or dinner. In these settings, be careful not to have too much to drink so you say something you later regret.
Never put in writing anything that you would not say to someone’s face.
Work friends are likely not real friends. Be careful what you say to them that you would not want everyone to know. They may just share your comments with someone else causing you an embarrassment that is hard to overcome.

Make sure anyone you refer for a job is on their own at work.

We have all referred people for jobs or relationships. Sometimes they work out well and sometimes they do not. Your responsibility ends when you refer someone for a job. my advice is:

Make is clear to the candidate that it is up to them how they do. Your only commitment is to to give them a chance at success. What they do with it is ultimately up to them.
We all need to be accountable for our own actions and work. Don’t take responsibility for other’s and don’ t let others take responsibility for your work.
Make sure people at work know that you are recommending someone but ultimately their performance is their performance. You introduced them, but you are not their advocate, messenger, or a management “sounding board”.
Do not allow yourself to become the "messanger" to the person you referred. Sometimes, the company may find it easier to talk to you versus talking to the other person. I recommend you not allow yourselft to be the messanger for the other person. if anyone inquires about them, it is fair to say "I don't know, perhaps you should talk to them directly".